she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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