these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
