Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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