I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
