Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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