I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
