next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
