i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You are the jesus of drinking
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
