Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
