don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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