I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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