I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do vagina's smell?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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