Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
