love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize