Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
