no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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