I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
