Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
