we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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