the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I will be naked everywhere
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
