What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
