ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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