he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I touched a dick in church today
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