Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
