After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize