why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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