No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
