Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
