The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
