Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
