Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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