She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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