she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
