it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
