I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
