Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
