Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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