He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
