I love black thongs
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They have beer where we have blood.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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