turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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