chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize