I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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