We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
