I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
