i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
