i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
