i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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