I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
