bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
