real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
