Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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