Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
