absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
