New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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