you mean i was at the winter classic?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
