I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
