She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
