the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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