We're like a lot better than the average bears
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's blow job season.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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