We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
