my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
