Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
