Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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